May 24, 2010

ATN's A to Z

She is my savior. She is my everything. I thought she is mine but she is just an angel for everybody... maybe for somebody else ... or... someone special who is not me ... I have no idea anymore. The more I try to close to her, the more I can't reach her. Good bye, Angel... I know you are not mine... :(

It is where I reside right now for a while. It is not mine. My body is owned by the Earth ... or... maybe...  someone else... called You-Know-Who... or... nobody. One day I have to leave it... or...  it will leave me forever. I don't care about my body anymore. But I need it to do whatever I want to on this earth before I die.

I really used to it. Someone cursed on me. And I cursed back. And sometimes I curse God, the so-called Creator. But I am sure God never curse me. He just gives me more trouble... hah... hah.. You are pathetic, God, you don't curse.

This is what I am looking for right now and I can't still find it ... or.... may be... it can't still find me yet. But what I am sure is I need a gun loaded with a live-round that can help me to see it.

This is the word I never thought I would have to use it in my whole life. But I know now I am wrong on this. I have lots of enemies in my life... such as... me myself... my wife... my girl friends... my so-called friends... the Guy that You-Know-Who... etc...

This is everybody has in their whole life. Just have to put some adjectives before it to make different who is who... ... like... best... close... boy... girl... etc.... Like everybody, I need friends. But I don't need many.
I am not a greedy person... I know who I am....

He is my Creator. I know he is there somewhere else, not on this earth. He knows everything about me. And I don't know anything about him. That's not fair at all for me. And he thinks I am Job. I actually am just his creation. He is playing me for his own sake. I hate that. And I hate him too. The more I hate him, the more I get into trouble. But I can't give up hating him. I still hate him a lot. Kill me God ... or... give me more trouble... I hate you... with all my heart... Hah... Hah... Give me more trouble. Ridiculously, whenever I ask for trouble I got a lot... and whenever I ask for mercy I got none... Hah... Hah... you are funny and crazy, God.

Not much to say. This is where I love to go after my death ... or... right now. I love to see Saturn and his fellows. When I see him I will say... Hail ... Saturn...

I nsignificance
This is the word that can be applied on me. I am not worthy for anybody, to anything and in anywhere.


Jack Daniel's
It is the name of my you-know-what. It is American. Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey Old No. 7. It tucks me into the bed almost every stupid f---ing single night.

I hate this f----ing noun in English. I don't want to talk about it anymore at all.

This is my thirst. The more I am thirsty, the more I feel lonely. The more I am trying to reach it, the more I am far, far away from it. Now I give up. But I still am thirsty for it.

She is my hope. She's gone already 2 years ago. And she is no more on this earth. And my hope does the same.

It is just a noun. And it is what I have. But I know it can kill anybody without a blood shed. It starts to do so on me now. But I don't blame on God for that.

That's what I am drinking now... I don't know yet when I can finish it up. Believe me I am drinking it seriously and diligently.

I don't need to say anything about these and those. All of them are people. You will see everywhere are them. And you know they are everywhere. I just have to say ... hey... they are everywhere...  Damn!!!

There are tons of them for me and almost all of them involve with God. Such as, why God create this stupid funny crazy messy Earth? Can he do better than this, or not? C'mon.... God... you better answer me, my Boy....

Rules & Regulations
These are those I hate the most. I don't need them at all. 'Cos I am a JAMMING specialist... Hah... Hah...

He is amazing. Almost everybody loves him. That's why almost everybody does the bad and wrong things. Small or big, everybody does. For me, I love him too. So I did lots of, lots of bad things. I still am doing bad... small and big... I will do more until I die.

This is the word stained with tears, pain, blood, etc... And this is the word that comes out only when nothing is left. So sad.

U is the pronoun that I refer to my savior, Angel.  Like... I love U so much... Angel, with all of my heart... ...
By the way, Angel, when I say ... U... It is U... Angel... not somebody else... ( Just wake up.... Angel...)

This is the alphabet which starts a word that I really, really need now.
(Hey....  don't think too much... I mean ... VACATION....  not V......  - you know....
I mean neither VICTORY... nor... VIRGIN... Hah ... Hah... )

As a husband, I don't want to talk about this. I seal my lips very tightly...

I think I need this. Otherwise a gun loaded with a live-round.

This is the first word of a song's title. This is my most favorite song and, as a kid, it is my very first English song I play with my guitar. Whenever I feel blue I hum that tune. If you are interested in it check out these links:

No need to say what is that... Huh... I have that... and lots of lots of them.


(If this post is annoying and it disturbs you, just blame on God... not on me... please!!!)


Anonymous said...

Life is never binary. There are things in between. It won't be a good idea to blame it either on yourself or the so-called God or goddess whenever you face difficulties. There are always causes behind effects. Everybody has their own troubles in life. Maybe just timing matters. So long as you have a truly brave heart, you can overcome all, and I believe you will. Love or what-you-called angel is always around you and maybe you just cannot see it yet. Some kinds of love are not well-spoken. Anyway, your A to Z is very beautifully written, brother. :)

ATN said...

> Anonymous...

These days... due to my lack of time, I usually don't respond to any comment on my blog posts.
Thank you for your comment.

I have my big big mess. But I will finish cleaning it up one day.

I know that life is not two-digit-world consisted of 0 & 1. Actually, life is one-digit-world consisted of just zero.... (Just kidding you... :)

In my definition: life is a pile of our wrong decisions and our failed actions and we have to live on it lively... :)

Thanks again for your comment, Bro.

It makes my day.


ေမာလုိက္တာ အကို ..
စကားလံုးေတြက ေလးလံစြတ္စို နာက်င္ေနၾကတယ္..
ေနာက္တစ္ခ်ိန္က်ရင္ေတာ့ ေအာင္သာငယ္ ဆိုတဲ့ လူတစ္ေယာက္ရဲ႕ A to Z ဘဝေလးကို တစ္မ်ိဳး ေၿပာင္းေရးၿဖစ္သြားလိမ့္မယ္လုိ႔ ေမွ်ာ္လင့္ပါတယ္ ..

mabaydar said...

အစ္ကို့ ေအတူဇက္က တမ်ိဳး ရသေျမာက္တယ္... ဖတ္လို့ေကာင္းတယ္... မေျပာျပတတ္ဘူး.. ဒါေပမဲ့ တစ္မ်ိဳးေတာ့ ခံစားရတယ္...

ခေရညိဳ said...

ျမင့္လိုက္တာ လိုက္မမွီဘူး :P