Jun 18, 2010

A Tear In Black Water


This is my beloved-eldest son's first poem. After reading my post (ATN's A to Z), he showed me a sheet of paper and told me that it was his very first poem. I feel so sad to read his poem. It touched my heart so hard. I don't know how he faced this world. As a father, I did my best for him. But these days, things are out of my control already.

He asked me if I could post his poem on my blog and he loved to see that on my blog. So I share his with you all, my friends. What I would like to request you is to leave just a comment for him in English. I want to see him happy to read all of your comment on his poem.

(BTW, he is almost 13 now. He was born on 8-8-97, the 9th anniversary of the 8-8-88)

Thank you all.

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A Tear In Black Water


My world is dark, my light is lost, in this forsaken realm.
My exist is just.
I do not remember laughter nor happiness.
Water drips slowly away.
I forgot to smile.
All alone with nothing.
I hear not a whisper, I feel nothing, not the wind of a storm, nor the spray of the sea, nor the fury of mother nature.
I'm nothing compare to her, like a human soul to a god.
A tear in black water is a lone soul in a storm of oblivion.
Why, why has she forsaken me?

Min Aung

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Buddy, you are only 13! what type of music you listened? your writing is quite dark! you should listen a lots of black metal/death metal/ gothic metal...many...that can give you strong throughts. go check DARKLYRICS.COM. pick up guitar! most greatest guitar-players are from HEAVY METAL.

ေအာင္သာငယ္ said...

Thank you for your comment on my poem.
First of all, I love music. But I don't listen to that type of music.
Second of all, I am a visionary.
But you should listen to this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neTsQng-70o

With respect,

Min Aung

Anonymous said...

13 is not a too young age. But the way u wrote this poem is really figurative. What a great job! I would also surely love to read ur poems written on crystal-clear water where full of love is flowing. Grasp ur hope and wait for the door of paradise to open. Nobody forsakes nobody in this world. People are on their way to their own destiny. So are u. :)

မမသီရိ said...

Thar Thar,
This is wonderful.
You have great talent of composing poem.
Now, you have started to come into poem lovers' family .. :)...

Only the thing is " Don't forget to smile"

Please smile for yourself.
Believe it " You are something in this world".
Take it " This world is for you"

Expecting many beautiful poems from you from now on.

With Love.
Aunty Thiri

YuuWaThone said...

Well Done !!!
Great poem !!!
More Poem Plz !!!
When I was 16's I wrote my first poem !!
So you are 13's So much younger than me.
Well done !!

Yuu Wathone

Nge Naing said...

It is impressed and wonderful poem Thar Thar.
Excellent!!!
May your family will be peaceful and loving each other.

With kind regard
Nge Naing

Anonymous said...

Awesome!

sonata-cantata said...

What a great poem! Write more poems and I am sure when you grow up you will be a successful poet.


Yae Chan
(Cantata)

Sint said...

It is impressed poem! Try something on happier side.

I assure you that every mother loves her child/ren no matter what. She may not have a chance to show it on the surface.

When you feel bad/dark compare with other people is worst than you, you will feel a lot better. Life is always ups and downs.

Have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said...

You did a great job young man. It touched my heart.

sait phay yar said...

Don;t start ur life with dark moment. Be happy. Try to write about joyful things.

Anonymous said...

great ...
i m sad too when i read it
(little brook)

Kay said...

it's a really impressive work as a very first poem.
I like the final touch that you echoed Jesus' famous last mourn.
( Father..why have you forsaken me!)

Brilliant !

Besides your creative works and choice of words, very obvious that it is rather sad and gloomy. So I would have to say that.. Count your blessing ! Life is wonderful.

Moe Cho Thinn said...

Speechless…
My eyes are wet when I read your amazing poem.
I am thinking why you choose this subject for the very first poem, at the same time, I do catch your feeling by all means.
I wish I could read your beautiful poems with joy, peace and metta.
Whatever it happens, be strong, my dear...
I know you will be a great poet one day!
Love,
Aunty cho thinn

Anonymous said...

Thump Up!!! i am proud of your poem reaching to my heart, also i hear your hearth beat rhythm. Thank you very much for your creative activities.
Have a good one

U kyaw nai

သြယ္လင္းဆက္ said...

I juz want to say its g8. Cheer up!

SDL said...

Thar Gyi,
I've read ur poem as soon as u posted it but I don't know how to comment.
One thing I dare say is that it touched my heart...

Looking forward to seeing ur beautiful poems soon,
Aunty SDL

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY , THAR THAR GYI !!!!


Aunty mie nge